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abimee · 2 months ago

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hi i can no longer act coy or hope that a job will come in time so im coming to everyone really embarassingly with my issues

in June I attempted to get fired from/left my job after having a really embarassing public meltdown due to having Rapid-Cycling Mixed Bipolar and the unending stress of that job of 3+ years. I've been struggling to get a job afterwards due to being in CA without a vehicle, and i'm currently working on an overdue commission so could not open up any more.

Soon after, my mother's car imploded, and a series of incidents related to a used engine and taking out a loan with a friend has left her both needing to pay back the loan and still needing to get a new car, putting her thousands in the hole.

my mother has allowed me to not worry about paying rent while unemployed, but now the person living with us is moving out, so it will be on me and my mother to pay rent, upping mine from $300 to $500 a month. I am currently job hunting with good prospects, but I am still in need of some assistance.

I DO NOT WANT TO ASK FOR DONATIONS WITHOUT GIVING SOMETHING IN RETURN, I have a very bad time taking help from people without doing something in return because I do not want people to feel like they Have to give me money or help me, I want to Offer something in return for that money, even in a situation like this, because I want everyone to come out on the other end feeling fulfilled, so I'm offering some (slow) cheaper commissions I can work on in between the bigger comm I owe.

My kofi is always open for donation sketches ---- you can donate the minimum amount (or whatever you prefer) and get a drawing like this of anything as long as you put it into the donation message!

i cant currently take on big commissions as I have one i owe and the commissioner is a very generous person who has been waiting a good few months for me to finish one during this hectic time, but if you're interested in getting something a little higher quality for a donation, a $30-50 USD donation can get you a ''simple commission'' styled drawing --- that is, you give me a prompt and character refferences (ocs or fanart, up to 2-3 characters depending on complexity), and I draw them like below (color complexity depends on price, the higher the amount the more the color).

You wont have access to revisions to make this as fast as possible, so i HIGHLY reccomend only getting fanart comms of these and to make sure you really like my style!!

this is one of those situations where I DEEPLY reccomend people do not donate unless they want something in return, if you dont wanna ask for a drawing or anything i reccomend going to people in more dire circumstances and helping them out with your donation!!!

but if you want to help me help my mother get out of a bad financial situation and get a little drawing in return, you can do a small dono and att a message of what you want doodled, or you can email me at [email protected] your $30-50 donation reciept and what you would like me to draw, and ill try to get them as soon as I can

thank you so much for checking this post out and keep it real old school!!!!! i promise once this is over and i get a job we'll be back to your regularly scheduled art posting

[EDIT: PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG THIS VERSION. I AM NO LONGER TAKING THE SIMPLE COMMISSION TIER. REBLOG THE ADDITION TO THIS POST GIVING AN UPDATE]

#i usually lock these posts cause i feel bad having a donation post circulate but this one time i wont #i dont know why i jsut feel so ashamed how much ive had to ask for money these past 2 years. i think its been p rare up until recently #but i hate doing it at all because i feel like a teenager again and it makes me feel horrible #so thats why i dont want just donos w nothing attached puh lease let me draw you something 😭😭😭😭

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ladyloveandjustice · 1 month ago

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Mental Illness in Anime

I saw someone say Komi Can't Communicate is the only anime they've ever seen that talks about mental illness and that's kinda sad, so for you to not end in the same boat, I've decided to put together an overview of mental illness in anime, what I'd recommend, what comes with caveats, and so on.

It's a little nebulous what "talks about mental illness" means as lots of anime depict characters who are very obviously depressed, traumatized and even suicidal (suicide will be mentioned a lot in this list, so watch out for that), but don't directly name mental illness. It is very stigmatized in Japan, even moreso than many other countries, you don't see much talk about therapy and so on.

However, naturally there are many Japanese people who are mental health advocates, and I found an interview with Makoto Kageyama, a mental health awareness advocate who volunteered at Aokigahara forest. He points out anime he feels deal with mental illness. One we'll cover fully, many of them I haven't watched:

I think the most accurate and positive portrayals I got were actually from Kiriyama Rei (March Comes in Like a Lion), Naruse Jun (The Anthem of the Heart), Miyamura Miyako (ef: A Tale of Memories), Takeya Yuki (School-Live!) and Smile (Ping Pong: The Animation)

I'm super open to suggestions for additions, and might be adding them as reblogs and under the cut.

I'll also be making a post on mental illness in manga if this post does well, which I will link here when I post it.

So I'll start:

Anime that directly discusses mental illness:

March Comes in Like a Lion- not only is the main character one of the most accurate depictions of depression I've ever seen, it's the rare anime that actually talks about counseling, showing a traumatized character attending counseling and slowly getting back on her feet.

Orange--it...certainly is about mental illness, but it's a pretty mixed/problematic one because it seems to be confused by how mental illness works at times. It centers around a character who's suicidally depressed and his friend's efforts to save him after receiving a time travel message about his future suicide. It also does mention offhand that this character was supposed to go to therapy and is skipping out at one point. But yeah, how it handles it is...not always great. It kind of gives an impression that if you try hard enough you can "fix" someone's suicidal depression. With friendship. I guess. You have been warned.

I haven't watched it in a really long time, so it might even be worse than I remember. But I'm including it bc I definitely cried and felt parts of it were very relatable when I saw it way back when. so there's some resonant stuff there.

Monster: Kind of mixed, but it's definitely notable as an anime that not only has a psychiatrist as a major character, but also shows prominent characters going to therapy and getting better. Characters go to him for alcoholism, depression, PTSD (PTSD is not named but yeah it's definitely PTSD). At one point he helps a main character recover some repressed traumatic memories.

What makes it mixed is that while several heroes definitely are mentally ill in some way, the (complex) antagonist of the series also has some sort of mental health condition , and the story is often weirdly muddled about it. At one point they make it out like he has Dissociative Identity Disorder (calling it "split personality") but then he never shows any symptoms of that and it's kind of dropped and not bought up again. He does definitely have repressed traumatic memories though, so maybe that's all they were getting at but said it very badly.

A heroic character that actually seems to have Dissociative Identity Disorder and YMMV in how it's handled and how accurate it is. It's a "the other personality is violent" one, but rather than the other personality being evil, it's. a defense mechanism, and the violence is always in self defense or defense of others..

Sort of names the problem:

My New Boss is Goofy: One of the main characters is recovering from an abusive boss, and definitely has anxiety attacks and flashbacks as a result. This is directly named as "trauma" (though much like in the West where the loan word came from, anime characters use the words to refer to minor things that aren't mental illness too. But in this case it's treated very seriously). At any rate, the entire anime is about others helping the MC slowly recover with his new boss and friends showing immense compassion for his anxiety and other problems. Here's a good article going into it!

Anime that focuses on social anxiety:

I think what stands out about Komi is that it directly says she has a communication disorder, but tons of anime focus on characters with social anxiety, and even state what the problem is directly.

Bocchi the Rock- The girl with the social anxiety is the main character and not the bland self insert guy who has a crush on her?, amazing. it lets her be a mess too? whaaat. Yeah, Bocchi does say directly she has severe social anxiety, and the series is very relatable in how it explores that. There are a lot of gags about it, but in a knowing, sympathetic way. Her recovery is realistically slow, and sometimes she backslides. She talks directly about her social anxiety, using the term.

Tsuritama: MC's social anxiety is so bad he can have panic attacks when people talk to him...the attacks are also represented in this really interesting way where they have water come in to drown him.

My Roommate is a Cat: Man dealing with social anxiety slowly recovers with the help of his cat. It's cute. Here's an article going into it!

Anime that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonates:

Natsume's Book of Friends: I wrote an entire article about how relatable it is to me and my mental illness, how it uses the characters seeing yokai as metaphor for mental ilness at times (Natsume was textually mistreated by so-called guardians who thought he "wasn't right in the head" and his grandmother was often called that too) but also Natsume shows a lot of textual symptoms of trauma (possibly PTSD), depression and so on, and they're explored very poignantly. Here is my article: “The Courage to Speak”: Mental illness and recovery in Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena: Probably one of the most poignant explorations of what it means to be depressed and traumatized as a teenage girl. Several moments with Utena herself resonate, starting with when she was a child and declares she doesn't want to go on living, Anthy is also...dealing with a lot, and it's powerful how the show goes into it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion-- Many characters in it show symptoms of mental illness. Though it isn't named as depression directly (i think?), but Shinji shows every symptom you can think of, and the director Anno has said that he was extremely depressed while making it and channeled a lot of that into the characters, and we definitely see his mental journey for the better very strongly reflected in the reboot.

Kyousougiga: One of the main characters is suicidally depressed (this one is graphic, because he commits suicide on screen...only it turns out he can't die), and his journey towards becoming okay with living is a focus and was very resonant to me.

She and Her Cat: A short anime about a girl who definitely has depression and how her cat helps her. Rather simplistic ending but it's good otherwise. CW animal death too, but in a very gentle way.

Haibane Renmei: It deals with suicidal depression and other mental health struggles in a pretty intense way, it's touching, but if you have triggers consider looking into it.

Fruits Basket: Truly a cocktail of mental illnesses among the cast. YMMV on how it's handled but some parts really resonate. These articles go into it:

The Always Smiling Girl: How Tohru critiques toxic positivity

“A Man Who Can Experience His Feelings”: Fruits Basket, toxic masculinity, and mental health

Colorful: This is a submission from Nickyenchilada from the notes of this post: "I would also recommend the movie/novel Colorful. I think YMMV on how it handles the central issue of suicide but I think it does portray how even kids can be thrust into very complex situations without necessary outlets for coping with them."

Vinland Saga: This was an addition I got from a discord conversation, the entire second season explore the main character's PTSD

Yuri on Ice- A conversation on discord reminded me that a lot of people read Yuri as having an anxiety disorder, which I can totally see!

A Silent Voice- a submission from @boku-no-anime-phase who says: "I think it deserves its own shout out! This movie is nuanced, gentle, beautifully told and brimming with hope. I love the fact that just like in real life, things don't resolve particularly easily; but the characters make important progress that's rewarding to watch. TW for suicide discussion, ideation and attempt".

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "YMMV but there's an arc that deals with bullying and memory loss where a character who deals with those things is supported and encouraged through it".

My Happy Marriage - From boku-no-anime-phase who says: "also YMMV but I think there were some lovely moments in this where you can see Miyo beginning to heal from her trauma and abuse, and learn to trust."

Anime Feminist has a whole host of articles on mental health in anime and they're all here. It covers a lot of different anime I don't know about or didn't mention and offers a lot of cool perspectives, so check 'em out! Here's a few that stuck out to me:

Finding Inner Magic: Depression in The Ancient Magus’ Bride

(I don't like this anime's narrative due to the issue with the ending pointed out in this article, but it did have resonant moments of exploring depression).

How Clean Freak! Aoyama-kun compassionately handles mental illness

The Sound of Depression: Liminal spaces, sound design, and Super Cub

From Yandere Girlfriends to Social Anxiety: Handling mental illness in The Future Diary and A Silent Voice

Footnote on Hikikomori in anime:

Any anime that focuses on Hikikomori characters are dealing with characters that are mentally ill, as being so depressed/traumatized/agoraphobic/anxious you can't even leave your room or house is obviously not mentally healthy. But what really matters is how that’s handled and if these issues are explained, as Makoto Kageyama notes:

Usually, the most common issues I’ve seen covered is the “hikikomori phenomena” and light eating disorders. Basically, a bullied character that becomes a recluse out of social anxiety, but… The characters don’t usually get shown correctly, since their issues are not explained properly and basically it ends up with a “Hey, see? People are not that bad, we are your friends!” and “Yay, I have friends, I am cured and I can trust others again!” Which is not the case, because real hikikomori can take a lot of talk and patience to get them out and when they get back to normal society (if they do), they become very wary of others. And ironically, “hikikomori” has also been used as a “moe trait” in anime even though it’s a mental health issue.

One I saw a lot of people namedrop as handling it well when I googled around was Welcome to the NHK, though I haven't seen it. But, if you look at Nickyenchilada's take in the comments to this post, it's mentioned as being resonant and it's noted that the recovery is not an easy fix, and it's also noted that several characters in the story are mentally ill.

Bonus list:

Neurodiversity in Anime- (that don't namedrop mental illness directly, but really resonate)

I initially didn't include a neurodiversity section in this post because I honestly could not think of any anime that directly talks about neurodiversity or has a textually neurodivergent character.

(However, there are manga that actually do! I pointed some out in my Mental Illness and Neurodiversity in Manga post I did to complement this one!)

You can also read some articles about neurodiversity in anime here

And the list of characters that can simply be read as neurodivergent is huge, and if I tried to list every popular read it would be endless, plus I don't feel comfortable "diagnosing" any characters with developmental disorders I don't personally have. However, I am willing to take suggestions from others on this one, so here are a few!

Mob Psycho 100 - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says " Mob is autistic and I will die on this hill; the trouble he has with fitting in, relating to others and knowing the right things to do imo stems directly from that."

Princess Jellyfish - submitted by boku-no-anime-phase, who says "I'd be willing to bet that all the women who live in that apartment are neurodivergent. They all have their special interests and they live together in mutual neurodivergent infodumping bliss and it's wonderful. (Unrelated but TW for sexual assault and some transphobia)"

Chihayafuru- submission by @noisepartythumpingmusic who says "It's never noted explicitly, but I firmly believe the main character of Chihayafuru has ADHD, which is perfect for a main character of a sports" josei. As someone who does have ADHD, I personally can totally see that read of Chihaya (the main character)!

Anti-recommendations (as in seems potentially resonant but then drop the ball hard, because if I listed all the anime that's blatantly gross about mental illness from the second the subject comes up we'd be here all day) (Dead Dove Do Not Eat)

Wonder Egg Priority: Starts out like it's going to be a nuanced exploration of recovering from abuse, suicidal depression, and so on, only to end up incredibly stupid and offensive. The writer also believes some stupid and misogynist things about "reasons" girls commit suicide. This article goes into it a little.

Your Lie In April: Depiction of depression and trauma is completely undermined by how all the characters tell the MC he needs to get over it because his talent for piano is more important, and the clumsy, gross take on forgiving your abuser, and so many other things. This article goes into it.

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And that's it for now! Again. I might be updating this with new stuff based on feedback or me remembering something I missed, through both updates and adding stuff under the cut.

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blackblooms · 6 months ago

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Final progress update

So Irredeamable release is only two weeks away and im mostly done with the final additions and polishes. Whats left at this point are mostly bugs that i dont know how to fix or are rooted so deep into the core of the mechanics that leaving them is just less of a headache. Ill probably release an update soon after release to incorporate some of the newly discovered bugs and general criticism, but the game is about as good as i can make it right now.

This leaves the question of what ill do after the game release and i got a fairly thorough answer waiting below this peculiar "read more" prompt.

So to begin, Ill mostly be reblogging art, analysis, stories, theories, and other kinds of fan works, assuming there is any. I do hope to at least succeed in fostering a small community, but only you get to decide if Irredeamable world and characters are deserving of such attention. As for my future projects, Ive already begun experimenting on the mechanics and designs of my next game and Ill keep doing so for the weeks preceding and following Irredeamable release. I wont be talking much about it, at least until the excitement for Irredeamable has died down and i got some solid stuff to show. The plan for my games is to make them into an anthology of sorts. All featuring their own worlds and characters but connected through a shared universe and themes. Aniway, thanks you all for following Irredeamable development and i hope youll enjoy playing the game and stick around to see what comes next.

#game development #solodev #irredeamable #indiegamedev #indie games #indie game #devlog #game dev #fanart #fantasy world #fanfic #thank you

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senshis-tenshi · 2 months ago

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Me: Hi, I've been in therapy since childhood and nothing has helped me. I still struggle with a normal life no matter what I do. My psychologist suspects my BPD has been misdiagnosed and I'm actually autistic and have ADHD, so I'd like to book an assessment, please.

Doctors: Great! That will be 850 Euros.

Me: WHAT.

Hello, I'm Ellie and I hope to raise money for my professional diagnosis through art commissions :3

I would greatly benefit from an official AuDHD diagnosis. I could get proper psychological treatment and medication to help me function. I would finally have an explanation for... well, basically my entire life.

I sadly have no family to support me through this, the two family members I have left don't believe in autism, so I could really use any support at all! I'm tired of hating myself for being "weird", "lazy" and "dumb", and I'm sure my wellbeing would improve drastically with the right treatment.

≡ ꒰ ° Bust ꒱ ˚ · .

Lineart ⤞ 5 EUR Flat Color ⤞ 10 EUR Full Color ⤞ 15 EUR

≡ ꒰ ° Waist ꒱ ˚ · .

Lineart ⤞ 10 EUR Flat Color ⤞ 15 EUR Full Color ⤞ 20 EUR

≡ ꒰ ° Full Body ꒱ ˚ · .

Lineart ⤞ 15 EUR Flat Color ⤞ 20 EUR Full Color ⤞ 25 EUR

≡ ꒰ ° Extras ꒱ ˚ · .

Additional Character ⤞ 15 EUR + Not SFW ⤞ 10 EUR + Banner or Icon ⤞ 5 EUR +

✩ I reserve my right to refuse any commissions I'm not comfortable with. This includes, for example, not SFW of underage characters, art of real people, racist, ableist or transphobic depictions... we can talk about it in DMs or asks :) Most fandoms and OCs are welcome!!

✩ I ask for half the money upfront, half when it's finished! But if I'm unable to finish the commission for some reason (like when the chronic illness is chronic illnessing or my tablet flies out the window), you will be refunded the full price :3

✩ Expected waiting time varies depending on the amount of work! A bust lineart will be finished in a maximum of 3 days, while a full color piece of your favorite ship in detail will take me up to 20 days max.

Here are some examples of my art! Click for better quality :3

Thank you for reading this far! Please consider commissioning me and reblogging this post to spread the word.

Take care <3

#ellie screams #open commissions #self ship community #art commisions #commissions open

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electrosquash · 2 years ago

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This may sound stupid but how do I turn off blazeable on my blogs?

And how is this bad? Again, I don't wanna sound stupid or rude. Thank you for the heads up :]

Hi! No worries, you're not the only one with these questions.

On how to turn off the option to get blazed:

On desktop you can turn it off at this link: https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/#blaze It looks something like this

On mobile it's in the account settings menu, there's a lof of screenshots in the additions to my other post like here (i haven't updated since i got a funny little bug that lets me add polls in reblogs of other people's posts so i can't screenshot anything).

Alternatively you can also log into Tumblr in your phone's browser and use the link above there. Don't forget to do it on sideblogs that you don't want to get blazed as well! You can also change the settings per-post in the post menu. I've actually enabled it for my complaint post that's circulating because it would be really funny :D

On how it is bad:

With the way it is set up, people can blaze your posts without active consent. This can be used to bully people, by digging out old or not-adapted posts that were not meant for a wider audience and putting them on blast. This can include vent posts, opinions you might have changed since then, selfies, niche things many people might think are cringe (like 2014 self-insert omegaverse fanfics and the likes ... idk if you've seen the drama that resulted from someone blazing their fic, it wasn't pretty), posts that were only meant to circulate in your carefully curated audience, and more.

Since Blaze's are registered in many minds as advertisement many people will react negatively to them so this opens up a way to bully a lot of people. As usual, people of colour, trans people, and other vulnerable groups will get the worst of it, many are already getting deactivated regularly because of coordinated reporting harassment and since people donate hate organizations all the time they will definitely use the option to make the life of a person they're targeting living hell for 10$.

Staff thought of some safeguards but there are several fallacies:

The option to cancel a blaze before it goes live: Not everyone has access to the internet every day, and staff might accept the blaze while you're asleep / at work / on a trip / in the hospital / on hiatus. Then when you're coming back to tumblr your notes will have turned into a nightmare.

The guarantee that staff will check every Blaze manually to prevent harassment: Let's take the case in which someone's old fic get blazed against their will. How can staff know whether it was blazed with friendly intent (to promote a friend's work) or ill intent (to get people to point and laugh)? They can't as long as it's not against the Terms of Service. In general there will be many false positives (Blazes that get rejected by staff despite being innocent) and false negatives (Blazes that get accepted by staff despite being malicious). After all, the people working at tumblr are only human too. But in this case, false negatives will have devastating consequences - and extinguishing a blaze after it's live will be too late.

Many people don't follow @staff, so many people don't know about this change. In fact many people on that other post commented that they didn't know what Blazes are at all! I think i've read that they will add a login banner to tell you and check your settings, but iirc they had banners like that for the original Blaze function announcement so i don't have faith this will prevent anything.

I should clarify that i don't think the feature itself is bad at all, but it should be opt-in so only people who want to participate get blazed (e.g. art blogs). Or add an active mandatory confirmation by OP instead of a veto option, this would prevent the issues above as well, i think that would be the best option - that way people could leave the option on. I know staff are currently getting bombarded with support requests / flames (please be civil to them guys!) (also sorry. but not sorry. i didn't expect my post to blow up but also i think these are legitimately troubling concerns and i won't make the other post unrebloggable). They're aware of these issues so i hope they will change to one of these options - if they add active mandatory confirmation by OP i would enable to option globally as well (Hint hint this means more money for you, @tumblr, because otherwise many people have and will turn this feature off completely) A bit more time between announcement and go-live (4/20 iirc) would have been helpful as well.

Here's the original announcement by the way:

And since i'm gonna pin the post as long as the other post is circulating: Listen to goatbed guys!

#long post #tumblr #ok to rb

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araekniarchive · 10 months ago

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i'm moving!

hi all :)) it's been a little while since i've been very active on this blog, and whilst a good chunk of that is chronic illness/job related, another big part is that i've been really struggling with my own tagging systems, to the point it feels like work just to reblog something properly. this is primarily because the theme tagging system for this blog evolved as i did, and a lot of the tags i used to use on her became superfluous, or repeated, and despite how many i have i still struggled to find stuff!

in addition to that, because of the way the tumblr editor used to work, the way i added images to posts would randomly add blank image descriptions to the pictures that just said 'image' and i couldn't change them, which made the webs look very ugly on mobile and also inaccessible to people using screenreaders or with sight issues on any browser, which is the opposite of what i wanted. thankfully, this has now been fixed for new webs, but is unfixable on the older webs which is a real bummer :(

so, a couple of weeks ago i randomly decided to do something about it. and i did! a few of you have noticed that a new blog, @otheraraekni, has been reblogging some of my webs and adding image descriptions in the reblogs, but i've also been remaking some webs as well with the alt text finally working as intended. i've made a new navigation page for my blog organisation, full of some tags i've kept, some i've slightly changed, and a whole new kind of tags for those i use most often. currently all the links on there will lead to this blog (so some of them will lead nowhere, as they may be new tags) but my intention is to switch urls.

so -- moving? in a day or so (once i've got the last kinks worked out) i will be turning my otheraraekni blog into araekni, and this blog into an archive. because araekni is a sideblog, i don't really have the option to just attach it to an old email and set it adrift, and i'm hoping not to have to get notifications from it forever, so in a month or so it will be deleted.

why a month? hopefully that will give everyone time to save any webs they like from this blog that i haven't decided to move over to what will be the new araekni! obviously, a good portion of the followers on this blog are from a couple of years ago when i was posting webs much more regularly, and i am not at all expecting the new blog to reach the same level of popularity as this one did, but if anybody would like to follow the new blog this is your chance :) i'll queue this post a couple dozen times so as many people as possible see it, but if you don't wish to follow me over there, please know how much i have loved keeping this blog over the years and how wonderful of an experience it has been <3

#not a web #important #araekni #otheraraekni #housekeeping

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timmy-bee · 6 months ago

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hello beautiful people of tumblr.would you care to hear about this beautiful au ive come up with

boatem as liella (MORE ACTUAL THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT/A RUNDOWN OF WHOS WHO AND WHY)

mumbo as ren - ren is the school concil presiendet and mumbo is ceo… its like the same almost - ren is high class which means RICH!! mumbo is the RICHEST HERMIT!! - generaly formal guys that are very silly - i think like.cannot explain it but like if mumbo saw something serious he would act like he didnt see it (ren saw chisato was going to leave the school she acted like she didnt see it…) - "Her favorite saying is, "Never forget why you started."" <-mumbocore - ren got addicted to video games? MINECRAFT? pearl as chisato - pearl would work at a food truck in my head it feels fitting - she wold most DEFINITELY be the one to train the other guys with dancing & other stuff - gossip girl - okay so chisatos whole thing in ep 5(?) where she was getting left out when kanon keke and sumire were with sunny passion because she was so involved with the idol group but wasnt actually an idol herself ? yeah pearl coded impulse as kanon - shes like. . . just normal girl and impulse is just normal guy but theyre both actually weird (/AFF POS) - impulse would like .. . want to get into something and DESERVE to get into said thing but then absolutely die from anxiety during the audition / interview and not get in - the impulse and scar dynamic that comes from them being kanon and keke.. . . . - I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IMPULSE scaar as keke - scar biggest hypeman to anyone ever i think " this is my little guy and if you dont clap and cheer for him ill blow this place to the ground " energy - ALL OF KEKE ENERGY IS SO SCAR!! - "NO IDOL GROUP ALLOWED?! THIS IS PUPOSTERUS! [IMPULSE]. WE NEED TO QUIT THIS SCHOOL RIGHT NOW" - completely hyped up to do something but then when it comes to doing it dies of anxiety but then bounces back instantly - keke images that are scar coded to me below - they both would and have chased down someone

grian as sumire - grian's the kind of guy to kidnap someone take them to his house/shrine and try to preform some stupid magic to get them to forget something that happened but also is actively learning the magic while he does it - SUMIRES LIKE!! the thing where she says "GALAXY!!" thats a bit grian coded to me i dont know what hed say though - grian WOULD stand out in the rain desperate for someone to team up with him just like how sumire stood out in the rain desperate for someone to scout her (cough cough SECRET LIFE cough cough) - like with sumire's thing about how when she was a child she only got side parts in stuff and she wanted to be the center in liella but then when they voted for kanon to be the center and she quit…. grian coded - grian wouldve done something embarrassing as a child thats everywhere on the internet if you search hard enough and his friends tease him about it THOSE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THESE HERMITS AND ANYTHING OF LIELLA REBLOG WITH THOUGHTS AND ADDITIONS IN THE TAGS ILL ADD TO THE POST !!!!!!!!!! or send an ask too

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force0fchaos · 4 months ago

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Last yap session of the day but while I’m at it, i wanna share my kanade headcanons!!

Unrelated opinions paragraph here, scroll to the red title to get to the actual hc’s

Headcanons are a tough thing for me in the pjsk fandom because sometimes I see people get a little lost in the sauce and use ‘hc’ when what they really mean is ‘au’ or ‘thing I want to happen/wish happened.’ In addition, many hcs I’ve seen tend towards being reductive in my opinion, or not necessarily accurate to the way I see the character. This is fine with me! I love fandom discourse (as long as everyone stays respectful). Everything is a matter of opinion, and as someone who prefers to stay near the canon-accurate side of things (unless I am making an au, see: evil nightcord) not everything will be for me. All that is to say, these takes might not be super daring. I’ve thought a lot before coming to my own conclusions about my favorite characters, and feel a strong need to sufficiently explain and support my takes with evidence and elaboration. But I do hope they’re fun to read nonetheless, and I’d love to hear other people’s opinions as well as their own hcs in the reblogs, contradictory or otherwise!

KANADE HEADCANONS (in order from least to most elaboration)

1) kanade has albinism :D she inherited it from her mom, and it’s (part of) why the sun is especially rough on her

2) kanade is terrible at stem, especially math. She seriously struggles doing operations in her head, she has good spacial awareness but can’t grasp conceptual stuff. When she was younger her parents considered getting her a tutor, but since she’s going into music anyway she just took the bare minimum math classes and moved on

3) (this is a little contrary to canon but) kanade DOES have some semblance of a hair routine (bc how else is it not all matted by now). When she was younger, her mom liked to dress her up and would braid her hair before bed, so kanade always brushes and braids her hair whenever she goes to sleep properly instead of passing out. She will neglect her own needs for the purposes of composing, but her hair feels more like her mom’s than hers, so she makes sure to take good care of it.

4) kanade is the rectangle body type. I only feel the need to say this myself because pjsk has such little variation between their character models, and you really have to look hard to discern their features from one another, but I do think it’s fairly obvious for kanade in particular. Part of it is her lack of healthy eating habits, but I always picture Kanade to be relatively flat with a boxy torso and a round face

5) kanade is demiromantic & ace! (This one is just for me) but I like to imagine her wondering at some point why she doesn’t have crushes on anyone while in junior high school, but all of those thoughts get pushed aside and mostly forgotten after her dad collapsed because ‘I don’t have time for that, I need to make music.’ In terms of other orientation, I imagine kanade to be pan as I don’t think she would have much of a preference as long as she knows the person well. And I can’t honestly picture her going out of her way to use pronouns other than ‘she/her,’ at least in the context of canon.

(Now for the more major/stretching canon hcs)

6) kanade has a chronic illness, which is a major cause of her general fatigue. Yes I know it’s canonically because she doesn’t eat enough or go outside but I think that’s part of why she doesn’t know about it: she rarely engages in physical activity, so she chalks up fatigue to lack of practice, not realizing her fatigue is abnormal. I also think it makes sense for her because her parents both have histories of underlying conditions. Not that pjsk gives us anything to work with, but we know her mom passed away of an illness, and her dad suffered a stroke due to stress; one so major that it could only have been caused by an underlying condition. Running on the assumption that she would have inherited her condition from her mother, I’m sure this would be a subject that would, at least, be on Kanade’s mind. I can’t imagine when she was younger that she would be able to understand her mother’s condition in its entirety. But I can easily imagine as Kanade grows older and puts herself out there more, her having to confront that she may be sick. She would admit her concerns to her grandmother once she realizes she can’t deny it anymore, and her grandmother would confess that she had feared this all along; that it was the same condition her mother suffered from. It’s a compelling concept to me, and one I definitely want to fanfic in the future…

Last but not least, the one you’ve been waiting for:

7) kanade has autism. This one is also tough because project sekai gives us nothing but my CANON evidence is: she eats the same thing every day (not just out of convenience because she also orders noodles when she goes out to eat), wears the same thing every day (verified in a 1koma that she has several of the same outfit, and possibly pointing to sensory issues), focuses on composing for such long stretches that she forgets to eat and take care of herself, and ofc, special interest. I also like to think that kanade is hyper-empathetic, doing things in her childhood like: “I have to spend the same amount of time with all my stuffed animals so none of them feel left out”. Not having the words (much less the diagnosis) to explain some of her behaviors, when she goes nonverbal with niigo she will use the chat function and say something like ‘my voice hurts,’ or more often skip out on the call saying she needs to focus for a while (because when she’s stressed enough to be nonverbal, she’s also going to fall back into the mindset of needing to work herself to death composing). She stimmed a lot when she was younger but (as many do) learned to mask it as she got older. It still manifests in her drumming her fingers on her desk, bouncing her knees, etc. when working at home, and a lot of the time vocally in the form of singing. Her house has always been musical, so this was never a problem. But whenever honami hears her doing this (as it’s often without her realizing it) she gets very embarrassed, so honami pretends not to hear it so that Kanade will do it more.

#yap sesh #text posts #kanade yoisaki #project sekai

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sparky-is-spiders · 23 days ago

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I'm bored and need a push to do some writing, so. Pick a fun self-indulgent drama-filled plot-point and/or au that I'm stupid-crazy weak for and I'll write something about Jon.

Secret affair

Secret affair + power imbalance

Secret affair (warrior cat edition)

Infidelity

Unplanned pregnancy

Outsider PoV to odd/unexpected relationship (seeing a different side of someone)

Outsider PoV to odd/unexpected relationship (Judgemental)

Hiding an injury/illness to the point of collapse

Didn't notice an illness/injury

Taking a bullet/serious injury for someone else.

The dragon game I'm autistic about (Jon is haunted)

Work on your econometrics homework you hack

dddddddddddddde (Jenny addition (if you pick this one I'll choose a random option))

Reply. Reblog. Send an ask. Message me (also if I haven't gotten back to your previous messages I am so so sorry. I will as soon as my brain allows I promise and swear). I'll try and get something done I just need the Push of Other People's Expectations.

You can add extra details if you want but please expect that Jon will be at the center of the drama (eg: Jon is the one hurting/injured/sick/pregnant) with the exception of outsider PoV because I enjoy him most when he's distressed and suffering but I want the outsider PoV to be someone else looking in on his life. Most likely ship is JE. I will not do JM or smut.

#i. i Need to Create. but my mind is empty.#please help #also it was awkward trying to find ways around censoring the names of the other two fandoms here #(because i didn't want my unrelated nonsense (jonsense. if you will.))#requests board #<- so i can find it again #whatever i write will end up here but i might also dig it back up again next time i need inspiration

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misscammiedawn · 6 months ago

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Plurality Weekend

Hey all. This post is for anyone discovering my blog for the first time this weekend. My name is Cammie Dawn and I write a lot about DID and Hypnokink. Both of these things will be quite relevant this weekend.

I'm attending The Plurality Positivity World Conference (info in link) this weekend after our therapist sent us to last year's event and it went well. Unrelated to the event, I'm also a panelist for a talk on hypnokink and plurality tomorrow (Saturday 5/18 at 1pm-3pm CST - info in link)

Networking at the PPWC for my Media, Myself and I essays (one kind person has already reached out to us about them which makes me glow with pride and grateful to know my stuff is getting out there) and providing my links to the panel tomorrow, I imagine I may get a few first time visitors to my blog. I thought I'd do a quick "resources and links" post.

For Media Essays:

Recontextualized Memory and Unprocessed Trauma in Umineko - A visual novel about generational trauma goes over how a young woman goes over and over the events of a tragedy in her childhood and how adult knowledge will recontextualize our adult recollections.

Derealization in Night in the Woods and Metal gear Solid 2 - Describing the sensation of derealization where the brain stops connecting associations between the self and the things one perceives in their surroundings. One example displaying how this impacts a person living with DPDR and the other showing an example of a game attempting to make a player share the experience with the player character.

DID and the healing process in Mr. Robot - A run down of the experiences of discovery, exploration, rejection and healing within DID as displayed in each season of Mr. Robot, along with a disappointed rundown of why the final episode fumbled the ball.

Bruce Banner and the roles of his alters - A breakdown of the formation of The Incredible Hulk’s DID and what roles his many alters play.

Romantic relationships with systems - A look at the marriage between Bruce Banner and Betty Talbot-Ross Banner in Hulk comics and a frank discussion between Betty and one of Bruce’s alters about how relationships function in a system.

Personality Play in Penlight - A review of one of the routes for a hypnokink visual novel called Penlight in which the protagonist hypnotizes a woman to have an alter personality, along with some descriptions of how dangerous play like that works in real life and what the consequences could be.

For Hypnokink Resources (more in our Hypnokink Writings tag):

Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders - A Rebuttal to a recent claim at a hypnosis convention that we shouldn't practice with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness.

Ethical Personality Play - A discussion about the real psychological damage that can and will happen if you play with personality play in hypnokink without setting safeties and grounding as part of your play.

Unreality and Hypnosis - A small note about how derealization symptoms mingle with hypnokink and why grounding and ensuring "reality remains in the scene" is important.

Anyway. Thank you all. For those who follow me normally, I appreciate you indulging the link spam.

#dawn posting #media myself and i #DID #plurality #hypnokink #hypnokink writings

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hachiibun · 1 year ago

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Commissions

I'll make this the official commissions post for now!

As a base, I'm offering a fully-coloured halfbody/thigh-up drawing for 50 USD. Additional characters will cost 40 USD per character.

Example: [1] [2] [3]

I'm also open to drawing a few watercolour-ish sketches (sequenced or not) on a page if you'd prefer. The prices for that can be discussed and will depend on the number of characters and the number of sketches you would like.

Example (1 character, 3 sketches - 85 USD): [1] [2] [3]

Example (2 characters, 3 sketches - 100 USD): [1] [2] [3]

And as for comics, I am willing do them either sketchy monochrome or fully-coloured at the prices in the examples, with a discount for additional pages.

Example (sketchy, monochrome - 100 USD): [1] [2] [3]

Example (fully-coloured - 120 USD): [1] [2]

These prices aren't inclusive of the paypal fee. If you're interested, message me here or email me at [email protected]

FAQ

Do I have to be 18+ to order?

Yes, I’ll only accept orders from people 18 and older.

How do I know when you have commission slots open?

I’ll have it on my bio and reblog this post when I get slots open. Of course, you can also message or email me to ask!

What methods of payment do you accept?

I’ll accept payment through PayPal only. That does mean invoices I send will include a fee for PayPal in addition to the prices listed above.

What are you willing to draw?

Characters must be over 18. I’ll need references, but in general you can ask me.

Fictional characters (anime, game, cartoon, etc. — feel free to ask)

OCs (you can ask for yours, mine, someone else’s even)

Furry

Kemonomimi (animal ears/tail)

Some humanoid fantasy races (elven, vampire — again just ask)

Snz (ofc)

Whump (characters feeling ill, feverish, injured, some blood)

What won’t you draw?

I can refuse commissions for any number of reasons. I hope you’ll understand.

Characters under 18

IRL people

Heavy gore

Other certain fetishes (please ask)

Note: For the following I’m just not as confident (I need practice)

Mechas, complicated machinery

Complex weapons/armour

Hardcore NSFW

Order & Payment

If you’re interested, you can send me a message (not an ask/submission) through Tumblr or email me at [email protected] and we can discuss your order.

When we confirm your order, I’ll send you the PayPal invoice. Payment will be due in 3 days by default. We can discuss this deadline, but I may refuse if the extension is too long to give others a chance.

I’ll begin working on your order only when I receive confirmation that the invoice is paid.

If there’s anything you need to change in the order, let me know immediately so I can make changes. If you want to add a character, I’ll send another invoice with the additional payment.

I’ll send you a rough sketch and wait for confirmation before doing the clean-up, line work, and colouring. You'll get further updates from me during the process.

I’ll show my finished work for a final confirmation. Minor changes may be accommodated, text can be added.

After the final confirmation I’ll send you the final drawing through a GDrive link. Then it’s all yours, and the order is complete!

Also if you like my drawings and are willing and able to do so, please consider pledging to my Patreon, or donating through ko-fi ☕! You're not obliged to donate, but every bit helps to keep me living decently and I really do appreciate it!

#hachiibuntxt #many thanks to the people reaching out to me abt comms #i appreciate you guys for your interest and patience <3 #if you're willing and able to contribute a bit every month the patreon is up rn #the free stuff i post here won't stop that's for sure don't worry #so i'm gonna plan additional things i can put on there #letting you guys know in advance

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random-lil-illing · 5 months ago

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i think i've gone long enough without a pinned post - time to make one!

WELCOME TO MY BLOG !!

!! INTRODUCTION !!

hello, i'm beverly! i use they/them and he/him pronouns (i am willing to experiment with other pronouns/neopronouns/xenopronouns too!! as long as it's not she/her.) :) you can also call me: illing, everest, ayesha, meeks, star, duck, or mitchell.

i am under eighteen years old, and i would appreciate it if people over nineteen did not message me (you can interact with my posts and replies, but no private messages please! you will be ignored or blocked if you message me and are over the age of nineteen.)

i like to interact with my mutuals, but i don't often make actual connections with them or become friends - i am okay with occasional messages, though i can't promise i will respond :)

my blog is mostly an art blog, with some headcanon posts here and there, but i do sometimes reblog things and participate in tag games. i like to interact with my mutuals' posts sometimes, such as replying to their posts or adding on to them in my reblogs.

!! MY OTHER ACCOUNTS !!

my other tumblr account for reblogging only: @illings-ill-reblogs (appearance/theme of this account changes with every hyperfixation.)

my side-blog (a fan-page for whichever character(s) i am interested in): @character-obsessed-fem (theme/appearance of this account changes with every hyperfixation.)

my ao3 account: Caramel_Cannibal

my tiktok (be warned i am rarely active on here): @caramel.cannibal

!! INTERESTS !!

my interests / hyperfixations, which my blog will be mostly centered around for the time that i am into them, change all the time! each time i have a new interest, i will change it here on my pinned post :)

current interest: Sonic the Hedgehog - specifically, Shadow the Hedgehog / Maria Robotnik.

previous interest: Dead Poets Society (1989) - specifically, Stephen Meeks.

!! NOT WELCOME HERE !!

if you find yourself under any of these categories, please do not follow me as you will not like the contents of my blog, and i do not like you. i urge you to leave.

- discriminatory against any of the following groups: religions (especially jews and muslims), pocs, lgbtq+, palestinians, minorities, disabled people, neurodivergent people, homeless people, women, single parents.

- if you are a zionist, leave.

- if you are a terf, leave. (this includes supporting known terfs like JKR.)

- if you support or defend pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, and rape/SA (or, god forbid, belong to any of those groups), leave.

!! PLEASE STAY !!

if you find yourself under any of the following categories, then i think you will like this blog and i urge you to stay!

- if you like art, stay.

- if you like Sonic the Hedgehog, stay. (for now.)

- if you do not mind a blog that changes interests constantly, stay!

- if you are queer, please stay.

- if you are pro-palestine, stay.

- if you're friends with me in real life, stay! (at the risk of your own sanity, of course.)

- if you are not prejudiced against minorities or a group of people (unfairly) discriminated against, stay.

!! ADDITIONAL WARNINGS !!

- i tend to take unannounced breaks from tumblr a lot, especially throughout the school year. this is due to a variety of reasons, but usually comes down to me being focused on school work and exams and not having time to make anything for tumblr. this can be pretty annoying, and i do apologise.

- when i make headcanons for characters, i sometimes headcanons them as things that have no back-up evidence in the actual media (e.g. headcanoning a character as trans with no proof, or believing a character has a specific type of family with no proof.) this might bother some people, however i am just trying to have fun here :)

- i have a bad habit of making unecessarily long posts (especially when it comes to headcanons), and i know people may find this annoying... sorry!

!! MY ONLINE PERSONA !!

i do have an online persona if people would like someone / something to imagine when interacting with my posts :)

!! MUTUALS !!

unfortunately, i rarely interact with my mutuals unless i'm doing a tag game they tagged me in, or i'm adding something to their post :( i am a very low-contact mutual unfortunately.

!! BLINKIES !!

that's it!! i've seen a lot of people with pinned posts and i've decided it's time to make my own :)

#introduction #intro post #blog intro #introductory post #introducing myself #pinned post #pinned intro #intro #welcome to my blog

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greyaugustuspoetry · 2 years ago

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You are loved. What to do in a crisis and resources on how to get help with mental illness.

If you can, please reblog this so people can be aware of how they can get help.

Hello world! I just thought I’d provide some resources for all the mentally ill out there in this existence. These all worked for me and hopefully they can work for you. If you think you may be suffering from mental illness go to section two and three. If you are currently in crisis, which means you think about or have planned your suicide, go to section one and read through the rest of this post. You are not alone, 792 million people live with mental illness. 264 million live with depression, and 284 million live with anxiety. If you are reading this, it’s a sign to start getting help. If you are struggling, these resources can help you. Just give it a try, it’s worth it. Just remember. You are loved. You are wanted. You are cared for. You are noticed. You deserve to live.

IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS:

Call a suicide hotline!!!!

Hotlines can be helpful at calming you down in a time of high emotion or stress, these people are literally trained to distract you. I’ve called them a few times in my life and it does work I promise. Just try it out.

The U.S number is 988

If you don’t live in the U.S, follow this link to find your countries hotline. Hotlines. Find it on the site and give it a call. Here are some additional hotlines and resource specific help.

Directory of international mental health helplines

A second list of global hotlines

Crisis hotlines for teens and youth

LGBT crisis support

Substance abuse crisis support

Postpartum support

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

National child abuse hotline

Literally just a list of hotlines for everything

Either while you are on the phone with a hotline or after, send your location to a friend or family member so that someone can come get you or check on you. If that is not an option you can ask the hotline to send someone to come get you. DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT. Stay by yourself in a time of need or crisis. The longer you are alone the more dangerous the situation can become. You are not a burden if you ask someone you love for help, that is what they are there for. Most likely you will be collected by emergency services and they will go from there.

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN AN ACTION TO KILL YOURSELF DO THE FOLLOWING:

Call 911 if you are in the U.S

If you are not in the U.S call your countries emergency number. Here is a list of countries numbers:

List of emergency telephone numbers

If you are at home with family members go to your family and let them know what happened. Even if they are asleep, wake someone up if you have to. Do this AFTER you have contacted emergency services .

If you are on a college campus, contact your RA or your campus crisis line AFTER you have contact emergency services.

If you are by yourself, WAIT FOR EMERGENCY SERVICES TO ARRIVE. Do not move from your location.

In crisis and after you need to make a safety plan. Safety plans reduce risk of future harm by planning out actions that you can do yourself to reduce emotional stress. Here’s how:

Safety Plan

After crisis assistance:

After crisis assistance can include therapy and psychiatry. I will provide thinks for find both of these things. If you are not currently in crisis but you are experiencing symptoms of mental illness, please make an appointment with one of these assistances. Below there are additional resources for mental health that can also be used as a first step.

Therapists

International therapy directory

Psychiatrists

American Psychiatric Association

How to find a psychiatrist and other therapists

U.S Government resources

National hotline for resources

General mental health resources

GLOBAL mental health resources

Coping strategies:

Coping strategies are how you individually can cope and process emotions, thoughts, and feelings. They can be hobbies or things like journaling or writing or just something as simple as going on a walk. I will give links to lists of coping strategies that might help you.

Coping with anxiety

Self-harm coping strategies

Coping skills for depression

How to cope with suicidal thoughts

35 coping skills to try

Self- help techniques for mental illness

100 coping strategies for all things

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